Welcome to my cooking channel ‘When J Cooks’! Today we’re going to look at all my epic fails at cooking & baking! No, I haven’t started a cooking blog. You will soon find out that I’m not fit to write anything related to cooking. However, here I am wasting your time blabbering about my (not so) amazing cooking journey.
It’s hard to pick my top 5 favourite dishes, but here I go.
- Cheese Maggi: Who would have thought I would screw up in the process of making the easiest dish out there for college students. I used to make regular Maggi frequently back in college but, that was very easy because of the microwave. My job was to add some water, masala and Maggi in a bowl and pop it into the microwave for 6 minutes (I guess). The first time I made cheese Maggi at home was the first time I was cooking Maggi at home on a stove with actual utensils. To say in short, I drowned my Maggi in tasteless cheese water. There was no way of saving it because I’m a simpleton who doesn’t know cooking hacks to make food fails taste fancy.
- Crustless Cutlets: One day back in school, I saw how to make veg cutlets and decided to try them out at home. I got all the ingredients thanks to my mom and the recipe from my most trusted source, YouTube. I followed every step with precaution and my mom was by my side to guide me. Trying to be cool, I told my mom not to worry much and that I have it under control. Much to my disappointment, I fried the cutlets but, the crust didn’t stick to the filling. So we all ate crustless cutlets. It wasn’t a waste because my brother liked it and that was all the appreciation I needed because he is a picky eater. The batter of fried crusts was floating merrily on top of the boiling oil.
- Potato Cry: Sorry potato fry. My mom went to the hospital for a checkup so my dad and I decided to make potato fry: mom’s style. It is a super simple recipe and we still managed to screw it up. The step to add and mix the masala is easy but, frying it to perfection is quite difficult for beginners like me. We managed to get a few good pieces but most of it was burnt and I could see the potatoes crying. Or maybe that was the extra oil? My mom was welcomed back with the beautiful smell of burning food. Over this quarantine, I found out my dad is a good cook. Well, that has made me realize the potatoes cried because of me that day.
- Half a Cake: For this recipe, I used a cake mix and followed the instructions carefully. I decided to be the sweet and loving sister that I am and baked a cake for my brother’s birthday. Sounds fine till now, right? My terrible cooking instincts kicked in and, I kept it in the microwave for too long. Only half of the cake was edible and, the other half had burnt. However, all that matters is we celebrated his birthday at home with a beautiful (half) cake. I can’t say for sure if my baking skills have improved over the years. To all the bakers who bake cakes from scratch to perfection, I salute you.
- Error 404 Not Found: Sorry to disappoint you all, folks! These are the only failures because I’ve cooked only so many types of dishes so far. Maybe if I decide to cook something new, I will add it to this list. Please pray to the cooking gods that I cook to perfection next time around.
Disclaimer: No food was wasted in my journey of failures.
Note: Also, I’ve always wanted to do this rant. How do people cook with so many utensils? The aftermath of cooking is what I never look forward to because cleaning is a pain and makes me regret even more for trying to cook! Thank you.
See you next time on ‘When J Cooks’!
World of Jeana 