The graveyard within me

I have a graveyard within me,
When a day leaves a bad taste in my mouth,
After the initial wallowing in anguish and sorrow,
I tighten my shoelace, pull up my gloves, and change into a t-shirt I hate,
I struggle a little to stuff the memories from the bad day into my backpack, and
Then I’m on my way to my graveyard,
To bury this six feet below the ground, so it doesn’t find a way to resurface.

I have a graveyard within me,
It is situated thousands of miles away from the epicenter of my core memories,
It’s usually hard to navigate through the dark void,
But now, when I see the other graves from afar, I know I’m near.
The sound of the crows cawing distracts me a little, but I march through.
The truth is that I have never gone there to dig open an old grave 
I have only gone there to bury the new ones and never look back on them.

I have a graveyard within me,
It helps me forget and assume that the bad days never happened to me,
So now, they are just bad dreams to me.
Even when someone I know empathizes with one of my bad days,
I find it hard to believe that I went through something as terrible as that,
I go as far as to think that I might have exaggerated it 
And blatantly deny any association with those days.

I have a graveyard within me,
That I keep a secret from everyone, and it helps me-
Forget the bad days,
Forget the excruciating pain during those days,
Forget the feeling of helplessness,
Forget how the bad days will soon outnumber the good,
Forget the graveyard of memories itself.

I have a graveyard within me,
And the casket to each of the graves shall remain closed
Until I muster the courage to dig into the rusty old emotions.
But my mind likes to throw random memories my way in the name of nostalgia,
Sometimes, somehow, teeny bits of bad memories find their way to the surface,
It flashes for a second in my mind, just for a second,
But that is the start of me going down the same road and spiraling in my thoughts.

I have a graveyard within me,
and it is useless at times to entirely rely on it to forget the bad days.