Grief

‘Twas your typical day. The sun was out, and the birds were chirping away happily. The sky was painted in a perfect shade of blue that hypnotises you into staring at it for hours altogether. The weather was pleasant, with a slight breeze to keep you fresh on a sunny day. I would have never guessed I would experience a panic attack today, of all days. I took a nice shower listening to pop music. I lathered some moisturizer on my dry skin. I wore my favourite set-of pyjamas, looked in the mirror and smiled at myself happily. I watched my favourite TV show Friends while gobbling down a yummy meal. I daydreamed about my first day at school and wanted to make the best of it. It suddenly struck me how happy they would have been for me. Just like that, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Why did they leave me? One sad ‘what-if’ thought led to another, filling my mind with rain clouds. *hmmph* I thought the weather was good today. I covered my face and tried to muffle my cries and silent screams. My happy song ‘Sunshine’ by OneRepublic is playing in the background. As I try to concentrate my thoughts on listening to the song, I am brought back to reality, and the sadness slowly fades away. I wonder if this is what grief feels like. It hits you when you least expect it. One moment you are happy and then engulfed with grief, the next. As I compose myself, I realize grief isn’t just about locking yourself in your room for days and crying your eyes out. Sometimes, it is trying to move on with your life but still feeling stuck when you get reminded about it. Grief sure does work in funny ways, like changing the weather.